The Healing Power of a Cuppa & Learning about Love Languages?
Hey Love,
I'm writing this sitting in bed in my parents’ house, in Ireland. It’s early in the morning and although it's been a short trip, I'm feeling rested and full up with conversation, laughs, 3 tons of swearing and a lot of love.
It's a quick visit but all I needed to recharge and remember who I am and where I've come from.
It wasn't all rosy in the garden growing up, but there was always love. Although it did take me years to mellow, to forgive and really see that love.
Years ago I found this little quiz called the 5 Love Languages and it changed the way I think about how we express love to each other.
My love language is words of affirmation so I enjoy speaking, writing, spending time with people and talking. That's my go-to when things get difficult 'Let’s talk'. A friend once told me 'You'd make friends anywhere because you just want to talk to everyone!' I'm genuinely interested and LOVE deep next-level conversations.
I think my Dad's is acts of service, he expresses love by doing, jumping up to make a cuppa, or pouring a glass of wine. Every single morning for years he brings my Mam a cup of tea and slice of toast in bed.
I'm guessing my Mam's love language is gifts, giving and receiving, she loves to shop and buy things. I opened the fridge and see soya milk bought specially for me and I feel loved.
The fourth love language quality time is just so important and was part of my aim for this trip. I purposely didn't tell any friends I was coming, (Sorry everyone we'll catch up next time!) as I just wanted to spend time with my brothers, sisters, nieces and nephews, and immediate family.
The final love language is touch and my family are THE best huggers in the world! As a child we were encouraged to hug and kiss and I really appreciate that, as I see other people and families struggle to express themselves in that way.
My brother asked me what I wanted to do during this trip and my answer was, 'Nothing fancy, just lots of tea!'
There's one thing I've realized over the years is that healing can take place at the kitchen table over a cup of tea and in the presence of love. And everyone is capable of doing it and receiving it.
There's a place for therapy rooms and Drs surgeries but remembering the importance of our presence, our words, a simple touch and our simple daily actions is vital.
And surprise, surprise I married a guy whose love language is acts of service. It took me years to understand that when we had a disagreement, my husband wasn't ignoring me by washing my car or sweeping the kitchen floor, he was saying 'I'm sorry and I love you' in HIS love language. It's taken us a long time to get to a place where we can disagree and speak in each other's love language.
My husband has to pause his urge to leave and just DO something and I have to remember that talking is NOT the only love language available.
If you don't know your love language just google 5 Love Languages and take the quiz, it's free and takes about 10 minutes and to go deeper get the book (especially if your love language is words! lol)
Sending you loads of love wherever you are in the world reading this today.
Speak again soon
Aishling x
P.s. In case you missed my last blog about why I closed open my membership and broke my spiritual business you can read it HERE I received messages from many of you going through something similar and I guess it helped or struck a cord. Read the full story on my WooBiz BLOG
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